I didn’t write this. It was a post on my forum from a member named “walkaboutted“. This was so brilliant, I had to share it with all of you. The thread asked the question of what a person was supposed to do when either the husband or wife wants to travel full-time, and the other member hates that idea. Her answer here is directly answering the man who originally posted the question about his wife who did not want to travel. But my experience has been that it is just as often, or maybe even more often, that the man does not want to travel. Whichever partner it is, this incredibly insightful post speaks to both.
Why do you feel that it’s an “all or nothing” situation? If she loves you, she should understand your need to roam. Keeping you on a tether makes you a pet, not a partner.
My beloved and I have been together for 21 years. In just the last six months, I spent a couple of weeks in Maine, he spent a month in Israel (we live in Arizona). We take journeys together, but we have different interests and hobbies, which necessitate time apart. I had no interest in riding my bike 3900 miles from the Atlantic to the Pacific. He has no interest in hanging out with my sister and family, frankly, it is boring. His metal detecting would drive me mad. Sitting and painting all day would suck out his stuffing. Embarking on our walkabout means we take our separate hobbies with us. After spending time apart for weeks or more, when we come back to each other, we are home. He is my home, I am his.
Love is a partnership, not a prison. If you voluntarily cede your dreams and independence to your new love, it’s only going to cause resentment sooner or later. That certainly will be fatal to your relationship unless you choose to deaden your emotions for all your days.
Staying together and following your dreams are not mutually exclusive . If she demands otherwise, at this point, you know the answer.
Martyrdom has its price. Do you want to pay it? Think about what you want. We only have so much time on Earth. How much do you want to regret when you reach the end of it?