WE’VE ALL SEEN RIDICULOUSLY LONG LIMOUSINES. They’re at nearly every prom and wedding. But have you noticed that these carriages for make-believe royalty have only four doors: two of them in the front and two of them a block away at the far rear of the vehicle? That’s because today’s custom coach builders take the easy way. They cut the car in half between the doors and fill the gap with a few hundred feet of doorless sheet metal and glass. That means occupants not lucky enough to snag the rearmost seating have to crawl forward, then crawl back out again. How undignified!

But there was a time when coach builders took the trouble, expense and extra craftsmanship to provide each passenger with their very own door. No crawling, no mussing of formalwear, no friendship-ending arguments over who gets to sit where. 

Look at these beauties!

And look at the r-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-m!

Imagine one of these as your mobile dwelling. Sure, the headroom is kind of low, but they more than make up for it with sweet, uninterrupted length. You could carry an 8-person racing scull in there. You could sleep several NBA players end to end to end. Imagine the number of solar panels you could fit on those roofs. And there are lots of windows for ventilation.

I know, I know, they have horrible maneuverability and they severely limit the number of places you can park — like a skoolie or big RV. And you could end up high-centered on anything but Kansas-flat pavement. But still… Life is too short to let impracticality and silly excess spoil our fun. We’ve rejected conventional ways of living, so we might as well reject boring vehicles while we’re at it. At least these aren’t hearses.